Grams.

I am requesting some good thoughts tonight for my Grams Betty. She is in the hospital right now and we have found out that her colon cancer has spread to her lungs. This is, obviously, a very sad and scary discovery and our family is coming together to support her and make her comfortable.

My Grams is my hero, my friend, and I adore her. I named my daughter for her because each and every time my daughter says or writes her name, I want her to think about this amazing woman she'll probably never fully know. This thought makes my heart hurt. I want nothing more for my Grams to live long enough to see Betty grow into a little girl, to have a conversation with her, to see her start school. Today, the issue was made real to us. That isn't going to happen. So, we just have to make each day special, each day count, and be thankful for each day we have.

I am not a spiritual person, but Grams is. She believes wholly in an afterlife and in God and in prayer and faith. I hope this keeps her strong and gives her peace in the next months. I hope I can find acceptance and peace with what is happening as well. Losing her has been my greatest fear and I had convinced myself, in a way, that it was never going to happen. Now with it seemingly staring me in the face I don't really know what to do with myself. Keep working, keep waking up and facing the day and in some way let her know how much she means to me.