Smile.

Smile though your heart is aching

Smile even though its breaking

When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by

If you smile through your fear and sorrow

Smile and maybe tomorrow

You'll see the sun come shining through for you

We buried my grandmother today. I have been running the roller coaster from numb, to devestated, to distraught, back to numb, and I'm finally settled at exhausted for now. I don't want to cry anymore because its just taking far too much out of me.

It was a nice service and my mother did a beautiful eulogy for Grams. It was fitting that throughout we found small reasons to briefly smile, remembering something funny or ridiculous that Grams did.

And I can look at my daughter, Betty the Second, and know that Grams' spirit is continuing. That I have a chance to take all I learned from her and apply it to my life. That I can be the kind of mother she would want me to be.

I'm aching right now, more than I ever have in my life. This week has been nothing short of terrible. But I feel some hope in the fact that I haven't lost my smile, and I have remembered that life will continue and the pain will slowly dull. It may never disappear..I will be forever altered by my loss...but I am thankful I have so many wonderful memories.